


Erase My Scars

by Magical_Devil_Alex



Series: Ego Shanagins [4]
Category: Real People Fiction, Youtube Jacksepticeye, jacksepticeye, jacksepticeye egos - Fandom, youtube - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Gen, I tried to make it fluffy in the end, Magic, Scars, it's Marvin's turn, magic spells, self hate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-26
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2019-03-08 05:26:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13451478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magical_Devil_Alex/pseuds/Magical_Devil_Alex
Summary: Marvin hated his scars with all his being. He's tried every spell he could think of to erase them, but nothing ever worked.He begs every night. Please, erase my scars.





	Erase My Scars

Marvin stood in front of the mirror, staring at himself. Studying the ugly scars he knew like the back of his hands.

First at the largest and longest scar that ran across his forehead and stopped under his left eye, how hideous the grey, raised skin was. Then at the little, thin white scars that covered his hairline, weaved into his eyebrows and crisscrossed over his nose. The singular, thick mark that ran over his right eye, the tissue there pulling with each blink. 

Marvin brushed away his hair, revealing his temples. Those scars were the most irritated, red and pink from the mask he wore consonantly rubbing on them. Marvin held his breath as he stared, hope gripping at his heart. 

 _Please,_ he begged.  _Please, let this be the one that works._

Then a minute passed. 

Then two.

 _Maybe it just takes some time to settle in,_ Marvin thought, trying to keep a hold of the hope. This was ancient stuff after all. Who knew how long it would take?

Three minutes passes.

Five.

Ten.

Tears threatened to come up behind Marvin's eyes.

"No," he whispered, voice cracking desperately. "No no no, you have to work! You're supposed to work!"

The mirror gave no reply, his scars taunting him.  _Guess what, bitch,_ they seemed to mock.  _You're not getting rid of us any time soon._

Tears really did start falling from Marvin's eyes then, defeat crushing his chest, making it hard to breath. Why did it never work? Why couldn't he find a spell that erased these stupid scars? He hated them so much, hated them with all of his being. Why couldn't he have just been normal, like all the other Egos? Sure, Anti had a scar of his own, but nothing remotely compared to this. Marvin's never even shown his face to the others in fear of what they'd think. They were so hard to look at, so  _ugly_ and  _disgusting,_  and even after all this time Marvin found himself flinching whenever he was in front of a mirror without his mask on. 

Marvin let his hands fall from his hair, covering up the red scars. He could feel himself tremble as more tears choked him, trying his best not to make a sound. The rest of the Egos and Jack were outside in the living room, and the last thing he wanted was for them to ask what was wrong while he didn't have his mask on. 

The magical Ego wiped his eyes, mindful of the scars. He looked down at the counter, seeing all of the ingredients and potions he has used to make the spell for his scars. It had taken him weeks, some of them  _mouths_ for him to find and successfully put them into proper containers so that they wouldn't explode the second someone touched them. He went to six continents, talked to multiple magicians and taught himself Greek. He even consulted Dark about it, though it had taken all of his courage and wit to. The other Ego had much more experience than Marvin when it came to curses, he himself technically in the middle of one.

"I'm not sure what you have is a curse, Marvin," he remembers Dark saying. "If it's not, you'll have done all this work for nothing."

And now, so many months later, after all this time, Marvin felt it really was for nothing. He knew he did the right spells, he knew he had everything he needed, and despite Dark being known for his cold nature, Marvin knew he was telling the truth. 

A sudden flash of anger tore through Marvin. He snarled, shoving all the potions and ingredients on the floor, not caring when glass shattered and various substances spilled everywhere. 

He was so  _tired._ Tired of staring at the imperfections that marked his face, tired of spending his life trying spell after spell after spell to get rid of them. Tired of constantly wearing that stupid mask to cover them up, tired of having to hide them from everyone. 

"Marvin?" he heard a concerned voice ask, muffled. 

Marvin's eyes widened, his head turning towards the door of the bathroom. Fear clenched his heart as the person, Jack from the sounds of it, continued to talk.

"Are you okay in there? You've been in there an awful long time, and we just heard something breaking," Jack's voice was full of concern, and Marvin was sure all the other Egos were nearby. Panicked, Marvin started to clean up the mess the best he could, only to find himself slipping on the substances and landing on all fours with a loud  _thump!_ Marvin let out a whelp, pain stabbing through his hands. Numbly, he remembered the glass that had broken on the floor.

"Marvin?" came another voice, more panicked this time. It had a distinct German accent, meaning Henrik had joined Jack.

"I-I'm fine!" Marvin managed to call out, standing up and making sure that he didn't step into many more of the shards that littered the floor. He cursed silently, observing his hands and seeing how dozens of pieces had embedded themselves into his flesh. Blood started trickling from the wounds, and just then Marvin saw bloody handprints from where he was a second ago. "Just ah... doing ah.." god Marvin was a horrible liar. Chase would've seen right through him.

"You sure about that dude?" speaking of Chase-

"Marvin, get out of there now," came the slightly glitchy voice of Anti. "Or I'll break this damn door down."

Marvin froze at the declaration. He knew Anti wouldn't hesitate to, especially if he thought Marvin was in danger of anything. 

"N-no! No need, all is fine, I'll just- ah-" Marvin tripped over his own feet, not realizing he was stepping on the leg of his oversized jeans. He flailed his arms out, managing to grab onto the counter.

It took a millisecond for the magician to remember he still had glass in his hands.

Marvin let out a loud and surprised yell, pain shooting up his arms and making the glass dig deeper in his hands. Tears started forming in his eyes again as he cradled his hands close to his body.

"Marvin!" came Anti's voice again, followed by the sounds of rushing footsteps and muffled words Marvin couldn't make out. "Open the door,  _now!"_

"Anti's right," Henrik said, attempting to open the door, only to find it locked. "Come on Marvin, everyone's worried. What are you  _doing_ in there?"

Marvin took deep breaths to try and stop his crying. He couldn't let them see him like this, he thought. Especially not without his mask-

Marvin could feel his heart stop for a split second. Slowly looking up into the mirror, Marvin saw his scared face, maskless and ugly. Where was his mask? Oh god, oh god, where was it where was it where was it-

More grumbling from outside the door.

"Fuck it," Anti mumbled, ignoring the sounds of protest from everyone else. In one quick, fast movement, Marvin heard him slam into the locked door, making it creak.

"No, please don't come it, don't-" Marvin scrambled around, searching desperately for his mask, falling to his knees, not caring for the glass anymore. He couldn't let them see his face, they would hate him, they would shun him, tell him how ugly he was, kick him to the streets-

Another cracking sound came from the door, nearly flying off its hinges. Marvin flinched, knowing all it would take was one more hit for the glitch to make his way in. Just as Marvin was about to abandon all hope, Marvin saw it, right behind the toilet.

_His mask._

With the last of his strength he had, Marvin practically leaped for the mask, getting his fingers around the smooth, white surface just as Anti blew the door down. Marvin fumbled with the mask, managing to slip it over his face just as all of the Egos and Jack rushed into the bathroom, Antil leading them. He was breathing hard, fists clenched and eyes wild with something Marvin couldn't remember ever seeing on his face before. 

_Fear._

Antil looked down at Marvin, who was still on the floor, mask hastily thrown on. The other Egos and Jack all looked around in shock, seeing all the blood, broken glass and weird substances that covered the room. Marvin whimpered as they all turned to look at them, shrinking back as if to make himself as small as possible.

"Oh my God, Marvin! Your hands!" exclaimed Henrik, turning into full doctor mode as he knelt down in front of Marvin, gently grasping under them. Marvin gasped at the pain, trying to pull them away from Henrik only for the doctor to hold them tighter. "I need medical supplies, now!" he snapped at the others, accent coming off stronger. Marvin saw Grayson hesitate for a moment, only to speed out of the room in search for what the doctor asked for. 

The doctor made an attempt to life Marvin, that task being harder with Marvin unable to do much. Anti quickly stepped in, wrapping one of his arms around Marvin's waist while the doctor grabbed his shoulders. A sharp tap got the attention of all three of them, seeing Jameson wave them over, motioning towards the couch. Henrik and Anti understood immediately, walking together with the magician in their arms. The much storter Ego was pretty much lifted off the ground by the two beanstalks that held him up. 

As quickly as they could, the two Egos lead their friend over to the couch, carefully maneuvering him so the he was sitting comfortably. Jack came over with a bunch of pillows, propping Marvin up with them, and Robbie promptly attaching himself next to Marvin on the couch. All was silent until Grayson came back with the supplies Henrik had asked for.

"I didn't know what all you wanted," he said breathlessly, handing over the mountain of supplies to the doctor, who immediately started going through them. "So I brought as much as I could find."

Henrik only mumbled under his breath, giving a quick thanks before once again kneeling in front of Marvin. This time when he motioned for Marvin's hands, Marvin didn't resist. The doctor became as gentle as he could, his touch featherlight.

More mumbling from the German. "Have to take them out... probably won't need stitches..." and other stuff Marvin couldn't understand. He grabbed tweezers, looking at the smaller Ego. "I'm going to have to get all this glass out," he told Marvin, firmly but still gentle. "It will probably hurt, okay?"

Marvin nodded numbly, hearing Robbie grumble as if the glass personally offended him somehow. 

"Alright," said the doctor, prepping the tweezers. "Here we go."

Henrik hadn't been lying when he said it would be painful.

Each time the doctor went for a shard, white hot pain rushed through his nerves. Marvin did his best not to move his hand as Henrik worked, the doctor moving swiftly and confidently despite the magicians whimpers. Marvin knew he was trying to get them all out as quickly as possible, but even so, every piece felt like and eternity to get out. The entire time Robbie stayed glued to his side, grumbling things Marvin couldn't decipher. The others stood around the room, not being able to do anything besides watch. Anti seemed to be skulking in the corner, glitching with every noise of pain Marvin made. Jameson looked on quietly, Jack, and Grayson standing near each other and Chase pacing back and forth, mumbling to himself. 

Finally, after what felt like hours, Henrik stopped. "They're all out," he said, relieved. All the others shoulders slumped at the statement, as if they had all been holding their breath. Marvin could feel guilt starting to claw up his throat when he realized this. All of them had been so worried about him, and they still were. 

_Would they still be like that if they knew?_

In Marvin's heart, he knew the others wouldn't care about the scars. But there was still that shadow of doubt, doubt that told him to be ashamed and to hide them with everything he has. He had already for so long, what was the point of showing them now?

The doctor wasn't done with him yet. Next, he dabbed some alcohol (which hurt like a bitch) on the red and irritated cuts, lucky none of them deep or big enough to need stitches. After that, Henrik wrapped them both in thick, white bandages, securing them tightly. 

Marvin stared at them for a moment, clenching them slowly into fists. He could still feel pinpricks of pain, but nowhere near as bad as they were. 

The silence around him was deafening. The feeling of them all staring at him brought a flush of shame to Marvin's cheeks. If he hadn't done the stupid spell, if only the stupid spell worked... none of this would have happened.

Jack spoke first. "Marvin... what were you  _doing_ in there?" he asked quietly, like he couldn't quite believe the last few minutes happened. 

Marvin opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. His tongue was as heavy as lead. He couldn't think of a lie, something to cover it up. He wished they would just brush it all under the rug and forget about it, but he knew that was far from happening. 

A huff came from the corner, where Anti was. "He was doing a magic spell," he said gruffly, looking straight at Marvin without blinking.

Marvin on the other hand blinked, confused. How did Anti know what a magic spell looked like?

"A magic spell?" questioned Grayson, bringing his eyebrows together. "How do you know?"

There was a tense pause, and Marvin starting holding his breath without realizing it as everyone waited for Anti to answer. Strange enough, Chase was still pacing back and forth, mumbling to himself. 

"Because..." Antil trailed off for a moment, suddenly wistful. His hand went to his neck without him realizing it. "Because I've used the same spell before."

All the breath seemed to compress out of Marvin's lungs. Anti had used that spell before? But for what? Why? It made no sense, he wasn't  _cursed,_ at least, not in the way Marvin was.

"But-but  _why?_ You don't have a-" Marvin cut himself off, eyes suddenly catching what Anti was doing with his hand on his throat. It was right below his scar, which was covered in the same type of bandages Marvin's hands were. He was rubbing it slowly, mindlessly. Did Anti think his scar was a curse? It certainly was a nuisance, bleeding most of the time no matter what Henrik did with it.

Anti didn't seemed to have heard him. "And plus, Dark mentioned it to me... said you were planning on doing something and that I should keep an eye on you. That was months ago, though..." he stopped again, making eye contact with Marvin again. "I'm not sure why  _you_ would need a spell like that."

Marvin's face burned red again, dropping eye contact with the glitch. 

"You talked to  _Dark?_ When was this?" demanded Grayson, suddenly looking concerned. "Did he threaten you? Is that bastard trying-"

"No! Dark didn't hurt me... I went to him..." Marvin's words felt heavy and empty at the same time. "To help... with..." Marvin let out a huff a frustration, covering his face with his hands. Tears started to burn again. Why did this have to be so  _difficult?_ Why couldn't he just say it and get over it? If today's events were any implications, these scars weren't going anywhere. 

"Marvin... do you believe you have a curse?"

All of the Egos and Jack turned to the source of the voice, seeing Chase. All of them were surprised, not used to the usually oblivious Ego make such a claim. Chase himself didn't seem to notice the eyes on him, still walking back and forth, an odd look on his face. He abruptly stopped, facing the wall away from everyone else. "I don't think you do. Whatever you were trying to get rid of... it's apart of you. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

Marvin stared at Chase in shock. How could've he picked up so much with only a few sentences? 

And even though Chase didn't know what he was hiding, it still somehow sounded like he knew exactly what was happening. Sometimes Marvin struggles to remember what Chase had gone through, what they've  _all_ gone through. They've told each other secrets they've never told anyone else and yet...

Here was Marvin, hiding the one thing he should have told.

At that moment, Marvin made up his mind. Stiffly, he stood up, Robbie moaning in confusion as his buddy got out of his hold. 

Without waiting for anyone's questions, heart beating out of his chest, and fingers on the edge of his mask, Marvin did the one thing he thought he would never have to courage to do.

He took off his mask. 

Not slowly, not making it dramatic. Just ripped it off and clenched it in his fist. 

He felt so vulnerable. 

So helpless.

Not wanting to see anyones reactions, he squeezed his eyes shut, a few stray tears trailing down his face. But he didn't hide. He didn't run away, and to Marvin, that was a home run in his book. 

Gasps and surprised sounds came from all around him. Marvin squeezed his eyes tighter, both fists clenching. The burn of the cuts helped him from hyperventilating, helped him keep focused.

No one said anything for a long time. So long, Marvin started to realize his ears were coming true. They hated him. They finally saw what an ugly creature he was, they finally realized why he never took off his mask.

He was hideous. 

More tears came up, and the magician started to tremble. Without looking at anyone he spun his heel, full intention to grab what little he owned in leave so they wouldn't have to look at the scars. Before he could however, arms wrapped around him. Marvin looked up to see Anti's face, gentle and smiling. 

Marvin was sure he's never seen the glitch look like that in his life. 

Anti did say anything, just hugged Marvin until slowly but surely, he hugged back. The tears waterfalled out of his eyes, and within a moment Marvin found himself sobbing, burying his head into Anti's chest. 

After that it was all a blur, suddenly everyone was around him, hugging him in whatever way they could. Robbie was practically sitting on his foot, arms circling his waist, Grayson, Jameson and Chase were behind him, Chase's arm behind his shoulders, Grayson with his hands on his back and Jameson loosely hugging all three. Marvin couldn't tell where Jack and Henrik were, but he could hear them, Henrik mumbling soothing things in German.

After a while, Marvin found he was calm enough to speak. Still hiccuping slightly, he was able to talk. "I-I'm sorry I never told you... I-I thought y-you all would h-hate me i-if you knew."

"Dude, if you think we were going to hate you over some scars, then that gives you the right to hate everyone of us. We've all done things much worse than keep a few secrets," came Chase's voice. 

"He's right," replied Jack. "You have no reason to be ashamed of them, Marvin... they're not a curse."

Anti chuckled, the sound vibrating through Marvin. "Damn right they're not a curse. I anyone tells you otherwise, send them to me. I show them a few curses myself. 

They all chuckled at that.

Marvin had never felt so  _happy_ before. He felt so light and free, like a ton had just been lifted off his shoulders. 

"Thank you all... thank you all so much," he whispered, afraid he might burst into tears again. 

You don't need to thank us, Marvin," Anti said, arms tightening. "If anything,  _we're_ the ones that should be apologizing."

Marvin looked up at him. "For what?" he questioned, tilting his head.

Anti just smiled sadly at him.

"For making you think you had to erase your scars."

     

    

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Feel free to leave a comment.
> 
> ~Magical_Devil_Alex


End file.
